Question: It took me nearly three years to be able to follow all the rules of ISKCON correctly. However when I get married, since the chances of me marrying a Krishna conscious girl is remote, is it reasonable for me to expect my wife to become totally compliant to all the regulative principles from day one? How do I correct her and bring her to the level of compliance? How do I conduct myself during this time?
Answer by Romapada Swami: Ideally, the best thing for an aspiring and properly practicing devotee would be to try to find a like-minded marriage partner who is interested or at least inclined towards spiritual life. Even if it does not seem possible to find a practicing devotee, it would be good to at least discuss before the marriage and make clear to the other person about one’s own Krishna conscious practices and ideals. If the girl seems receptive and enthusiastic, then based on mutual understanding both husband and wife can strive together and help one another as needed in maintaining the proper standards of spiritual practices. Once the basic understanding and respect for your mutual spiritual goals are established, then by your own good example and inspiration, your wife would easily be able to follow your lead. While this is all being established in your relationship, the challenge for you would be to remain patient, kind and understanding with your new wife, all the while remaining internally determined in your own higher purposes and in your spiritual practices. Create an atmosphere within your home in all possible ways that inspires a sense of acceptance, care and protection for your wife; in this environment, gently but firmly maintain the lines of spiritual discipline that you have already communicated that you are committed to uphold.
It is very advisable to find a ‘role model’, a mature devotee couple who are themselves properly maintaining these standards, and who you feel you can trust with confidentiality, to help closely guide you through these initial phases of grhastha life.
