Question: In one recent Question and Answer session with another devotee, you mentioned the importance of honesty. How can one who has no honesty like me get this quality? I feel the natural tendency to make others feel everything is good, that I am good and expert. The mind is always seeking for ways to get attention and appreciation from others. I even don’t have to do it purposely, it is rooted so deep in me, and just happens even without notice most of the time. I am such a pretender. How can I uproot this anartha?
Answer by Romapada Swami:
Thank you very much for your honest inquiry! Your sincere yearning to uproot all pretense itself indicates honesty within your heart. That you ask such a question is also the proof of the purifying potency of Krishna consciousness! This process impels any sincere practitioner to look within themselves and become thoroughly honest.
Krishna is Absolute Truth (param-satyam). Therefore, anyone who wants to become a devotee of the Absolute Truth must necessarily come to the platform of Truth as well. The basis of honesty is to please Krishna. Mundane honesty may be a stepping stone, but as Prabhupada often liked to point out, “honesty among thieves” is of no particular value. When we sincerely strive to please Guru and Krishna, we become progressively honest in all our dealings, actions, words and thoughts, because Krishna is never to be pleased by duplicity.
STAGES OF HONESTY
There are many levels of honesty. The first symptom of honesty is a growing recognition that there are many ways in which we may not be thoroughly honest. Another step towards honesty is the recognition that there are many faults and undesirable qualities lurking within our heart, and that we are not so innocent and good as we thought we were, after all, due to our having forgotten Krishna! We also recognize that we cannot do anything good for others on our own strength. The ability to admit these truths to oneself, and then to others, is itself the first stage of honesty. This is part of enlightenment and we should feel encouraged rather than discouraged by this recognition.
The next level of honesty is that one recognizes that I cannot change on the strength of my own efforts alone and that I need help; thus one seeks descending mercy. Trying to reform ourselves on our own strength is still a dishonest position, because only by association with *sat* (i.e. with the Supreme Lord and His devotees) can we come to the platform of truth.
The next stage of honesty is to sincerely and honestly accept the mercy abundantly available to us in the form of scriptures, saintly association and so on, and strive to live truthfully. Many people may come to the point of admitting that ‘I am being duplicitous’ and also appreciate the principle of honesty, but don’t take the trouble to change. They may be honest as long as it is convenient but they justify compromises by thinking that “Everyone is dishonest!” or that “It is impractical to be truthful!” and so forth. But a progressive transcendentalist does not hesitate to be truthful even if it involves much austerity, even if it means they may have to take a menial position, and even if it seems to jeopardize their own position (as in the story of Satyakama Jabala who wanted to become a disciple of Gautama Rsi, but admitted that he did not know his caste or even who his father was).
Even further than that, a devotee becomes eager to assist others to understand the truth and live the truth. One classic example is the younger brahmana in the story of Sakshi Gopal from Caitanya Caritamrita. Srila Prabhupada set the highest example of truthfulness: he took great risks to boldly speak out the truth for all of our benefit and worked very hard to create a loving sanga of devotees which can facilitate us to live honestly. Thus, there are so many levels of honesty, and by active application to the process of Krishna consciousness, we can come to this deep level of honesty.
The most important factor to uproot dishonesty is to continue to associate with saintly devotees who are themselves firmly situated in the Absolute Truth, and to continue to apply the process of devotional service (beginning with hearing, chanting etc). We develop the qualities of those we associate with, appreciate and serve. Thus the association of Saintly Persons can bring us to the highest stage of truthfulness.
STRONG RELATIONSHIP WITH GURU/SADHU AND KRISHNA IS THE FOUNDATION OF HONESTY
It takes internal courage to be honest. Particularly in this age of Kali which is known for being an age of hypocrisy, honest efforts and honest presentation of oneself is hardly appreciated or valued in a society which deliberately encourages pomp & show, prestige, position, and externally polished behavior. People in general are so absorbed in external accomplishments that they are unaccustomed and even afraid of being truthful, even to themselves. Therefore, while striving to become honest and change past conditioning and habits and so on, it is crucial to cultivate a deep sense of security in our relationship with Guru and Krishna. This is our support and impelling force, the fulcrum from which we can change the heart.
When you feel deeply spiritually secure, you will feel comfortable to let go of all pretense and allow your natural qualities to gradually shine through. When there is a strong and straightforward relationship with the spiritual master or an advanced devotee, you become confident that Krishna and His representative accept you completely and unconditionally love you for who you are. Their satisfaction is what matters most to you compared to anything else, and you develop the conviction that simply by pleasing Guru and Krishna, everyone else will automatically be pleased and benefited. In this way your absorption naturally shifts towards that loving relationship and proportionately away from extraneous considerations such as desire for recognition, pleasing and impressing others and so on. Without this higher taste and shelter, any effort to become truthful will remain incomplete.
HONESTY IN EXECUTING PRESCRIBED DUTY
An important principle that protects us from pretentious behavior is performing our prescribed duty whole-heartedly. Krishna describes this in BG 3.6-8: one may renounce material activities very quickly but if one neglects one’s prescribed duties, the heart is not properly purified. Thus their renunciation remains immature and the mind continues to dwell on the objects of senses. We do often find that a person easily gives up wealth, position and even fame and recognition among peers to join a spiritual society, but again gets caught up in desires for position or recognition within the society. Or they may become affected by the respect and adoration that comes as a consequence of their renunciation. The remedy for this is to perform one’s prescribed duties in a humble mood under the guidance of an expert spiritual master.
The expert spiritual master knows the nature of the disciple and engages them accordingly, and within these engagements there may be some aspects that we may not be very proficient at or not incline to or even averse to. In the case of Arjuna, it was the prospect of fighting his beloved teacher and grandfather, in the case of a student it may be a particularly difficult or uninteresting subject of study, in the case of a housewife it may be the day-to-day chores, in the case of a preacher it may be having to tolerate insults, or a stubborn follower, or having to admit their ignorance to a newcomer and so on. Nonetheless we should execute these duties righteously, without aversion or neglect, even if it is done imperfectly. Such execution purifies the heart of attachments and aversions. Skillfully avoiding such duties using Krishna consciousness as an excuse, as Arjuna tried to do before the battle, leads to *mithyacara* or pretense.
Executing our duties in a mood of sacrifice for pleasing Krishna, without attachment and aversion, and participating in the sankirtana yajna helps us stay on the platform of honesty, and gradually helps us go beyond selfish absorption and work for other’s welfare. As one become genuinely interested in other’s welfare, one cannot help but speak the truth for their ultimate benefit. Srila Prabhupada often spoke so strongly, without concern for being appreciated or accepted, for his heart broke to see us suffering from atheistic, impersonal and pseudo-spiritual misconceptions. He was confident that truth will succeed, he stood on the basis of purity alone and did not rely on attractive packaging of the truth. His desire was for us to come to that standard of purity also.
Just as in cultivating any spiritual quality, this challenge to cultivate honesty does not happen instantly by wishful thinking alone. It takes persistent, enthusiastic, confident and patient effort (utsahan, niscayad, dhairyad…Nectar of Instruction Text 3).
Furthermore, to become thoroughly honest is possible only by descending mercy. Thus, we have to direct our effort towards making ourselves accountable to that mercy, accountable to that relationship with the representative of Krishna. By such honest effort, Krishna who is seated within everyone’s heart, becomes satisfied and He Himself cleanses the heart of such a truthful devotee of all residual untruthfulness!
