Role of a Wife

Digest 00017D: A Virtuous Wife

Written by Romapada Swami

Question: I was reading about the conversation between Dharmaraja disguised as a Yaksha and Yudhisthira. One of the questions put forward by Yaksha to Yudhisthira was – “since Dharma (Virtue), Artha (Profit), and Kama (Desire) are opposed to each other, how can they co-exist harmoniously?” Yudhisthira replied- “These three become congenial to one another when one has a virtuous wife.” Could you please explain on this reply of Yudhisthira?

Answer by Romapada Swami: What seems obvious is that at times dharma, artha, and kama are in opposition. Virtue and self-interest don’t always coincide, at least not superficially, and sense gratification opposes virtue and even practical self-interest in obvious ways.

A virtuous wife protects her husband by her scripturally-directed service mood and activity, assisting her husband in each of the three depts. (dharma, artha, kama). This is no guarantee that her duties being executed properly will provide a 100% clash-free dynamic in life, but her presence helps the religious-minded man to stay on course toward the goal, and not fall sway to excesses.

To be more specific, a virtuous wife makes sure that religious duties are performed at home, as well as with regard to guests, relatives, associates, and general living beings; in this way she plays a key role in protecting the family’s dharma or virtue, even if the husband is temporarily distracted by affairs of artha. At the same time, she encourages her husband in his worldly affairs, protecting artha. And finally she satisfies her husband’s material requirements by cooking and performing other domestic duties, and by fulfilling his desire for female companionship within the codes of dharma; excesses or indulgences never originate from the side of the qualified wife, and her religious nature will help both husband and wife to maintain all the regulations that lead to freedom from material existence. Approaching this final goal through the assistance of a qualified wife will bring a very natural balance to the man who is trying to properly follow the spiritual path.

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Romapada Swami