Question: Do you think true love really exists in this world? I am talking about the love we see in relationships between husband-wife, friends, or brothers. As far as I have understood, the only form of true love is between a mother and her child. Even here, it is more from the mother’s side. Do you think that a mother loves a child because it’s her child, because a woman always desires to have and love children? A person who has achieved and realized the existence of God is definitely a great soul since that is perfection of love – based only on trust and faith (even that is based on materialistic grounds these days). All other types of love seem to be just so superficial and shallow. Please comment.
Answer by Romapada Swami:
You are right, material love is indeed very shallow. “There is actually no love in the material world”, Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Sarasvati would often remark. True love is other-worldly. The so-called love of this world is almost always based on self-centered considerations, or lust: `I love you because you satisfy such and such of my needs’.
In Sri Caitanya Caritamrita, two distinct terms are identified: kama and prema, i.e. lust and love. Kama is defined as the desire to satisfy one’ own senses, but when one’s only desire is to satisfy the beloved, without a tinge of personal consideration, that is prema.
This pure love is very difficult to attain, since no conditioned soul in this world can be fully free of selfish interests (other than a pure devotee).
Whatever form of love we find in the material world is therefore, more or less tinged with kama. Srila Prabhupada often stated that the love of a mother is the closest thing to pure love, in as much as there is a high degree of selflessness in that relationship. But ultimately we can see that love also to be restricted and temporary from the absolute perspective.
Love is a natural propensity of the soul. However, pure love can factually be experienced only in relation with Krishna; and He alone can perfectly reciprocate our love. For the spirit soul to repose love on something non-spiritual, based on considerations such as bodily relationship, is quite incompatible, and therefore quite unfulfilling, often ending in frustration. In fact, Krishna is the active principle of everything; thus whatever is lovable or attractive to us is only due to its connection with Krishna. If at all we love someone it is due to the fact that they are a spark of Krishna. For instance when the soul, which is a spark of Krishna, leaves the body, no one loves the dead body.
Because our love is now misdirected towards matter and has been thwarted so many times in frustrated attempts to find a worthy object for our love, most of us even become reluctant to trust and love anyone at all. Even if we do so it is sustained only on superficial, conditional terms. But as soon as we turn our attention and affection again to Krishna, the natural love of the soul can flow unimpeded. Srimad Bhagavatam describes such love as unmotivated and uninterrupted; there is no cause or personal motivation why we love Krishna except that He is so lovable, and there is no stop to such love (SB 1.2.6). On this platform a devotee can truly love everyone else also in relation to Krishna as His parts and parcels. This alone is fully satisfying for the soul.
