Cultivating Divine Qualities Self-control Setting an Example

Digest 00111A: Taking up marriage as a service

Written by Romapada Swami

Question: I am getting married and I would like to know how to control my sexual feelings as a vaishnava. Will Krishna be angry with me if I chant and my wife does not want to chant?

Answer by Romapada Swami:

For a vaishnava, married life is an opportunity for cultivation of spiritual values. Take up the responsibility of marriage in a mood of service to another soul, a devotee of Krishna, a vaishnava. This quality, when cultivated over some time, will lift you above rajo-guna, and the mood of being the enjoyer.

There are allowances for regulating sense-enjoyment within married life, but as Krishna advises in Bhagavad-gita, one should not “rely upon the control of such allowances.” Rather, the rules and regulations have to be followed carefully, but without undue attachment to them and in a spirit of service as mentioned above. (Cf. Bg 3.34)

Krishna will not be angry with you or with her if she is disinclined to chant. But by your good example and by exhibiting higher qualities, such as patience, kindness and inner happiness — your wife will be naturally attracted to take up that which sustains those qualities in your person.

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Romapada Swami