Question : Even if a woman keeps serving her husband and family to the best of her ability, still she will not be protected by them at the time of need (as I felt from the story of Draupadi and Sita Devi from Mahabharata and Ramayana.) Then, why and how should I do my duties? What lesson I should take from these stories for my spiritual endeavors?
Answer by Romapada Swami:
Duties are to be done for the satisfaction of Krishna; and it is Krishna Who is the actual benefactor and protector of everyone, man or woman. “Work has to be performed as a sacrifice for Vishnu…” (BG 3.9) When one follows the principles of religion, then one will be protected by those very religious principles: “dharmo rakshati rakshitah”; whereas by straying away from dharma, one becomes bereft of any shelter, in spite of elaborate material arrangements for security (as seen from the fate of Duryodhana or Ravana.)
So, to answer your question why you should do your duties: you should do it to please Krishna and because it is the duty assigned to you by Him. (Please study BG 18.46, 47 and purports)
An employee gives up the service of his master if there is no proper compensation – this is a mercantile mentality, it is not the platform of duty, what to speak of selfless loving service. Relationships in grhastha asrama – if it is not centered around Krishna – deteriorates to such mercantile, exploitative relationships, where each party expects some benefit from the other in return for their service and become disappointed when their expectations are not met.
Although conventionally a woman is always supposed to be protected by her husband, father or son, it is actually the Supreme Lord who protects her through the medium of these authorized representatives. And yet taking shelter of Krishna does not mean retiring to the forest; it means taking shelter of the specific arrangements He has made for our protection and abiding by the duties and injunctions He has given for each of our protection and elevation. With this understanding, a devoted wife performs her duties; she dutifully and affectionately serves her family, while looking for reciprocation and shelter not exactly from her husband / relatives, but from the Supreme Lord. This is *how* you should perform your duties.
Consider deeply – what protection can truly be offered by fallible living entities, even if they are well-intending? Srimad Bhagavatam describes family members as “fallible soldiers” who cannot offer any real protection. (SB 2.1.4) On the other hand, if a woman gives up her prescribed duty thinking it to be pointless and tries to find independent shelter to maintain and protect herself, these will only prove to be another false shelter – going from the frying pan into the fire!
This material world as such is called ‘durasraya’ or false shelter. As Srila Prabhupada would say, ‘One who puts his faith in durasraya becomes a candidate for hoping against hope.’ Therefore, an intelligent person places his faith in the Supreme Lord and in dharma. Even if seemingly there are temporary setbacks, they know that ultimately virtue alone will prevail.
Note that when we speak of protection, we are considering not merely physical protection or maintenance for this spot life of few years. The real protection is against degradation of consciousness to lower qualities. By executing her prescribed duties nicely, the soul in the woman’s body can very easily become elevated in consciousness and become liberated. By her chaste execution of duties she can very easily develop transcendental qualities such as selflessness, humility, tolerance, faithfulness, dependence on Krishna etc.
Not only that, but as a chaste wife/mother, a woman can discharge a very important responsibility in maintaining the sanctity of the family and society, and facilitate the spiritual advancement of her husband, children and other family members. Thus, in discharging her duties she is fulfilling a much higher responsibility and spiritual purpose.
It is because of this higher spiritual conception that Vedic women could display such amazing strength of mind, character and virtuousness even in the face of extreme adversities. It is this lesson that we can learn from the examples set by Mother Sita or Draupadi or Queen Kunti — how even in terrible reverses they showed how to persevere on the path of virtue without swaying. As Srila Prabhupada writes: “The best part of valor is to maintain the principles despite all kinds of odds. Thus one can be happy during the span of life and ultimately return to Godhead.” (Cf. SB 1.16.25)
(It should be noted that in the present scenario, with much of the varnashrama support structure being lost, there may be some special cases where women are unable to follow the traditional duties prescribed for them. In such cases, they can still stay within the protection of religious principles by acting within the authorized guidance of the spiritual master. But this should be understood as an emergency measure, and not a substitute for the ideal Vedic solution for everyone at large.)
