Question: 1. As advised by you I read BG 2.56 and 4.10. I now understand how attachment, fear and anger can prevent us from moving forward on this path. In my own case I have great fear of losing what I have if I take this path. I feel that I have worked hard for getting whatever I have and I will lose it all on this path. I guess I have taken shelter of whatever fruits I have obtained through my hardwork. I did not have this fear earlier, I feel it only now. I am writing down some questions I have and request you to kindly help me understand where I stand, Is it that I was just ignorant of this fear that was within me? Is it that fear of the spiritual side is showing up as fear of giving up my false shelter?
Answer by Romapada Swami:
Minimally you are operating with a few misconceptions.
(1) What is to be relinquised in KC’ness is the misconception that things belong to us. We do not have to give them up, nor will they be taken from us. False proprietorship is dissolved, that is all.
According to our karmic deserve, we will experience a given level of opulence.
How we regard that opulence (wealth, intelligence, beauty, fame or influence, etc) is the focus of a spiritual conception of life.
Krishna Consciousness is “Utility is the Principle” i.e. use your opulences in the best way you know how to, in service to Krishna.
(2) As spiritual attachment grows, material detachment fades. But you will not be stripped of what you have coming to you by bhakti; rather those opulences will flourish and bring satisfaction to the self. SERVICE IN LOVE is the agent that brings this satisfaction.
As far as the fear you are experiencing goes, I cannot say for sure what is the source. But I do know that material conceptions are the place from which fear arises/grows/is nourished — like the earth nourishes seeds.
Question: 2. Srila Prabhupada says that one overcomes this fear by taking shelter of the Spriritual Master. It seems to me that I apply my conception of relationship to this relationship also. This leads to situation of not having complete faith. This automatically leads to fear.
Answer by Romapada Swami:
After reading what you have written, I am reminded of Srila Prabhupada’s example of a long mathematical calculation that has an error at the very early stages of a long series of complicated calculations. No matter how precise you make each and every calculation along the way, if there is an error at the very beginning you will reach the wrong conclusion.
Similarly, attachment to a bodily conception of life results in fear of losses within both categories of “I and Mine”.
By logical extension, precisely as you have written, the Spiritual Master may also be seen in a conception that is rooted in a misunderstanding of some kind, with a bodily conception as the root — as long as we hold on to a material conception of who we are.
A subset of the “Mine” mis-conception is the mistaken idea that “I have generated/created my opulences, by My hard work”. The fact is that opulences are bestowed by Krishna, even for the non-devotee as well as for the devotee. Proof? Krishna gives them, Krishna takes them away. Who can claim that any opulence which they presently have will not be taken away?
Q. 3. Is there any hope for a person who has this attitude? Am I not committing offenses by having this kind of thinking?
Answer Romapada Swami:
I suggest that you work on proper hearing or receiving from Srila Prabhupada via his books, assisted by the expansion of those teachings by his sincere followers. Continue in this way, just as you describe above, and gradually the proper spiritual conceptions will become clear.
