Question: I would like to submit a question regarding devotee relationships. From my personal experience I notice that while all the devotees are very wonderfully engaged in service to Sri Guru and Gauranga in different ways, at the same time they find themselves extremely busy, not having time to call one-another, inquire about each other’s well-being, spend time with each other in sharing their experiences in Krishna Consciousness etc.
So this sometimes causes me to think back if it isn’t true that loving relationship is the key to our Krsna Consciousness journey.
Personally, I find it very encouraging for my devotional service and inspiring when I try to keep in touch with all the devotee friends I have, at least call them, or write to them generally to say Hare Krishna, thinking they are my family. But I am now beginning to think again if what I am doing is right. I hope I am not disturbing them by calling them to inquire their well-being, because everyone other than me seems to be very busily engaged in services to Guru and Krishna.
May I please request guidance in understanding how I should respond to situations when very nice devotees say that they have been so busy in serving Guru and Krishna that they had no time to call or write even 1 line to other devotees in general? Of course, I am aware that devotees are very loving and they always wish for the best spiritual well-being of one-another in their hearts, but what about expressing the same.
Answer by Romapada Swami :
Loving relationships among devotees is indeed a key aspect of devotional life. Note that it is also *one* of our services to the spiritual master and Krishna. Devotee interactions is not to be seen as something apart from service to Guru and Krishna — this understanding is essential to healthy spiritual relationships. In other words, these loving interactions among devotees are meant for “Krishna’s pleasure”. When devotees lose sight of this understanding, very quickly the interactions come under the modes of material nature. One may find oneself trying to ‘enjoy’ one’s friendships in Krishna Consciousness, and the mood of enjoyment (in the material sense) quickly spoils everything, including loving relationships. A devotee’s attention goes exclusively to pleasing Guru and Krishna even while interacting with others. This is the only word of caution I would like to offer regarding your observation about the importance of devotee interactions.
Neglecting devotee relationships also means neglecting an important component of the instructions of the spiritual master! When one habitually gives priority to other services without investing in loving relationships, it can be quite weakening to one’s devotion. However, it is possible that sometimes ‘other’ services to the spiritual master do demand much of one’s time and attention and take a higher priority. It would then be a different variety of ‘sense-gratification’ to neglect those services and try to enjoy the company of one another.
The key contemplation is to examine one’s own motive for temporarily setting aside other interactions — if it is to attend to an important service to the mission of the spiritual master, then other devotees should respect and support that – that would be their service to the devotee concerned. On the other hand, it is also the nature of material energy, particularly in Kali yuga, to keep everyone too busy managing things rather than find time for loving interactions — this is indeed a prevalent disease in the society at large that has deteriorated loving relationships between family members, neighbors and friends alike.
We must also be considerate of the reality of the complexities of modern life which does often leave practicing devotees with very little time to give attention to the primary activities of sadhana bhakti such as hearing and chanting. Thus, from time to time you will find devotees juggling their priorities, and you might face yourself in a similar situation some day, too!
Balance is the key. There is a time for all things.
In determining your own priorities, you can be assured that loving relationships among devotees is irreplacably significant. I encourage you to continue to warmly extend yourself and/or seek out the association of other devotees for Krishna’s pleasure — to such extent as would not encroach into your basic hearing, chanting and prescribed services. Do so without expectations, but out of your love for them. Continue to treat them like your own family, while carrying a proper spiritual conception.
When you find other devotees during a particular time frame to be too busy, you may find it helpful to keep the above various considerations in mind. Be understanding, and consider if and how you may be of assistance in enhancing their service. You may serve them just by your being understanding, and relieving them of their concerns about neglecting/hurting your feelings. You could offer your practical assistance in any way they might need so that they will have more time. You could consult with them about their convenience and prearrange a fixed time for interaction.
As in all activities in devotional service, association with devotees is also best regulated (as opposed to the pendulum of extremes). You will find your exchanges more qualitative, focused and uplifting if they are regulated both in terms of time and content.
If you maintain a nice mood of service, you will find the inspiration how to respond in a manner that will both strengthen your mutual relationship as well as increase your respective devotion to Guru and Krsna. This is, after all, the purpose of all relationships viz. to strengthen each other’s faith and devotion to our common subject of worship.
