Question: In one of your lecture/discussion, where you are speaking about preaching or sharing Krishna consciousness with other people, you say something like, ”… if the door isn’t open, don’t try to go in.’
After I took to Krishna consciousness, I realized that to a certain degree I am conditioned to see others as ‘having the door closed.’ This is because I grew up always experiencing that whenever I would try to express a belief in God, it would be denied or ridiculed by my mother. My mother became an atheist before I was born (I believe in part due to unpleasant experiences attending Catholic school). After experiencing Krishna consciousness and the association of devotees, I feel much more comfortable overtly expressing my belief in God or Krishna. However I sometimes see that my conditioning is still there and feel that it is likely to stand in the way of my ability to help others come to Krishna consciousness. I wonder if there is anything specific which I can focus on to try to overcome this?
Answer by Romapada Swami: There are two aspects to this question: (1) Objectively, it is important to learn to properly discriminate *how* to open our hearts intelligently to share Krishna consciousness with different types of people, and (2) Subjectively, how to overcome your own past conditioning that sometimes makes you hesitate to express your faith with confidence, even to those who may be open to it, due to fear of being ridiculed or rejected.
As far as proper discrimination goes, one of the injunctions for chanting the Holy Name offenselessly is the following prohibition: *To instruct a faithless person about the glories of the holy name. (Anyone can take part in chanting the holy name of the Lord, but in the beginning one should not be instructed about the transcendental potency of the Lord. Those who are too sinful cannot appreciate the transcendental glories of the Lord, and therefore it is better not to instruct them in this matter.)* (NOD, Ch 8) Not only it could make them more obstinate or offensive, but it could also potentially damage/weaken our own faith. Rupa Goswami also recommends that we should open our hearts with like-minded devotees – that is most conducive to bhakti. (NOI 4) Confidential exchanges with atheistic or strongly materialistic persons can potentially damage our bhakti. Confidential exchange could mean discussing one’s own personal life, decisions, desires and goals; but on a deeper level, knowledge of spirit and of God are the most confidential subjects. Of course, by its very definition, preaching involves ‘knocking on other’s doors’, glorifying the Lord, and soliciting or inviting them to do the same. One is advised to not receive advice from atheistic and materialistic persons in either of these two categories of confidential matters. Proper discrimination is, therefore, the key.
Actually, sharing of Krishna consciousness can be most effectively done, even when hearts are not yet fully opened, on the foundation of developing a loving relationship.
A devotee is recommended to cultivate loving service feelings for the Supreme Lord and the Spiritual Master; to cultivate friendly relationship with other like-minded devotees; to cultivate compassion towards innocent and unfortunate persons; and to avoid and neglect those who are critical and envious. (Please study Nectar of Instruction Text 4-5) This is the essence of discrimination.
And when a loving spiritual relationship is built – founded on mutual respect, trust and genuine mood of service — in the background of that relationship, discussions of Krishna and His messages will be most potent.
Speaking about Krishna is not the only way to reach out and share Krishna consciousness; more important and more effective is your own acting with Vaishnava qualities — particularly in those cases where you sense a ‘closed door.’
With this guideline in mind, begin by thoughtfully and selectively sharing your realizations with some open-minded persons who are innocent and who exhibit some appreciation and attraction for these messages. And invest time in building deep, solid loving spiritual relationships. By doing so in a mood of service, to please Krishna, your strength, confidence and convictions will grow deeper. From that position of strength you will feel increasingly comfortable and expert how to share with others who may be a bit less open.
As a devotee becomes more mature in his/her devotion, he/she becomes increasingly empowered to help and transform the hearts of even those with strong misconceptions or a closed heart. Srila Prabhupada could transform the most difficult cases of hardened atheists, impersonalists and materialists. Vidura was able to force open the heart of even blind and attached Dhritarashtra, because of the loving relationship he had built.
Like a medical student in training, consider yourself as an apprentice — try to assist in the preaching of such advanced, empowered preachers, and carefully follow their instructions. Deeply meditate upon their qualities and the way they interact with different persons — for example, the intensity of humility and compassion with which Prabhupada prayed in the song he wrote on the Jaladuta, or how he conquered the heart of Dr. Mishra who was philosophically at complete odds with him, and so on. As you become absorbed in such meditations, your heart will become increasingly filled with those deeper knowledge, conviction, compassion, humility, feelings of dependence on Krishna — in the presence of these sun-like qualities, the crippling effects of your own past experiences will fade away.
Another thing you can do to directly address such past experiences is to begin seeing them as wonderful learning experiences, rather than as a debilitating one. The more a devotee learns to see Krishna’s hand in everything, the more he/she begins to consider what he thought a seeming misfortune is actually a special gift from Krishna. By this change of attitude, you will find so much to learn from those memories and experiences. Having gone through that experience with your mother, for example, you now have a very special advantage to be more understanding and compassionate towards those with similar difficulties. You can now be more perceptive of what it is that is fundamentally making such persons ‘close their doors’ – perhaps their own bad experiences, or some misconception or fear about religion or religious persons etc. You are not likely to dogmatically impose your convictions upon someone who is not yet experienced or received the mercy you have been fortunate to receive. And you need not make the same mistake of expecting support or validation for your beliefs from those persons. Rather, now you can be more considerate, and your compassion and understanding and gentle dealings may be the very means that can touch their hearts and encourage them to open the door once again!
And, you can feel deeper appreciation and gratitude for having now received these wonderful teachings which have the touch-stone like potency of transforming even those unfavorable situations into favorable! Whenever you experience similar situations or a relapse of your old inhibitions, take shelter of these teachings and how you can apply them to add transcendental wisdom to what you have learned by past experience.
