Question 1: I am new and I started chanting 1 or 2 rounds every day. I thought I am fortunate to know Krishna Consciousness but now I feel I am committing so many offenses. I feel that those who do not know Krishna Consciousness, who may not be worshiping Lord Krishna but at least they are not committing such mistakes, may be better than me. I try to think of God always wherever I am, but I am getting bad thoughts or negative thoughts about God. I fear bad things happening to me or to my family members if I do not think of God before starting any work, or before going anywhere, or if I see a picture or Deity anywhere but fail to pray. I am more worried about not getting bad thoughts while chanting or worshiping, rather than feelings of Bhakti. I feel may be I better not worship as I end up committing more mistakes than worshiping. How can I get Lord’s mercy?
Question 2: I wish to be enlightened on the matter of offenses. From the moment I know that a certain type of thought, nature or activity is an offense, I become so cautious about it in guarding against it to the point of becoming fearful and stressful. At times it seems that I am more prone to commit an offense just because now I know it is an offense, just like how a child tries to do what he has been advised not to by his mother. Every moment at temple or in association of devotees I am more busy analysing the offensive behavior. Please advise so that I can overcome and don’t offend the Lord and His devotees.
Answer by Romapada Swami: An idle mind is the devil’s workshop. Surfacing of unfavorable thoughts or fears is an indication that the mind is not appropriately engaged in positive devotional cultivation.
The first and fundamental step in bhakti is ‘Sravanam’. Other processes of devotional service, such as chanting, praying, worshiping etc should be *founded* on the principle of sound hearing. We must hear repeatedly from Pure Devotees who are themselves free from all offenses. We must chant and serve Krsna with their guidance. Then the difficulties such as indicated in these two inquiries can be relatively easily sidestepped. Please, therefore, take firm shelter in systematically studying Prabhupada’s books and/or hearing his lectures. Negligent or sentimental practices of devotion, without help of deep understanding of Krishna based on scriptures, will leave our devotion weak, and prone to the attack of so many misgivings.
We have forgotten Krishna for so long, and have associated with heavily materialistic and atheistic conceptions. Offenses, or the tendency to commit offenses, is due to the lingering material conceptions and ignorance only. They cannot be overcome simply by fear or forceful efforts to banish offenses. Instead, the effort must go into cleansing the material contamination and misgivings in the mind. This is made possible by constant hearing from suddha-vaishnavas about the transcendental characteristics of Krishna.
mayy asakta-manah partha
yogam yunjan mad-asrayah
asamsayam samagram mam
yatha jnasyasi tac chrnu
“Now hear, O son of Prtha, how by practicing yoga in full consciousness of Me, with mind attached to Me, you can know Me in full, free from doubt.” (BG 7.1)
When knowledge of Krishna is properly awakened, free from all doubts and misgivings, one will automatically become free from offenses, fears, rebellious tendencies and all their corollories.
Krishna is extremely merciful — He overlooks our childish mistakes, especially of those trying to come back to Him. Despite their ignorant mistakes or offenses, such devotees are as much fortunate as a millionaire’s child, in comparison to a lost and orphaned child who has no one to point out his mistakes!
