Question: I need guidance regarding attending family get togethers. My husband’s side of the family is not at all Krishna conscious. Is due to my weakness that I don’t want to associate w/ their materialistic activities w/o Krishna in the center? Especially when there’s a major festival such as the annual Rathyatra. I have to miss because I have to attend a high school graduation party for my husband’s brother’s son. They want me to be there. But my heart will be somewhere else. Is this also offense? Summer is when all the Sannyasis are visiting. When will I be able to take full advantage of their presence w/o feeling bad or tension due to family pressure? I know I can make prasadam and they will all benefit. Am I being selfish in that I want to be w/ devotees?
Answer by Romapada Swami: It is not an offense that your heart is with Krishna. Nor is it selfish that you want to be with devotees.
Some very simple advice comes to mind in response to your request for guidance is the example give by Srila Prabhupada regarding a woman who has a paramour.
From a lecture on Teaching of Queen Kunti: “When we increase our attachment for Krsna, our renunciation will be perfect. As we increase attachment for Krsna, attachment for this material world will automatically diminish. Attachment for Krsna and the material world cannot go hand in hand. If a woman is attached to two men — her husband and her paramour — she cannot maintain her attachment for both. Her attachment will increase for her paramour. Although she may work at her husband’s home very nicely, her mind will be attached to her paramour, and she will think, “When shall I meet him tonight?” In the same way, if we increase our attachment for Krsna, detachment or renunciation of this material world will automatically come (bhaktih paresanubhavo viraktir anyatra ca, SB 11.2.42).”
