Question: I have been contemplating a matter that’s been bothering me deeply. How can I liberate myself from the grasp of ego? I find myself consistently grappling with a sense of self-importance, often convinced of my own righteousness. It’s as though I’m trapped in a cycle of self-validation, where I constantly reassure myself that I am a good person. Yet, deep down, I sense this is not entirely healthy. I understand that ego, while providing a sense of identity, can also blind us to our faults and inhibit spiritual growth. In my case, this perpetual belief in my goodness seems to stem more from a need for affirmation rather than genuine self-awareness.
I seek guidance on how to transcend this egoic state. How can I cultivate humility and rid myself of this incessant need to validate my goodness? Are there specific practices, teachings, or insights within the teachings of Krishna consciousness that could aid me in this journey?
I am earnestly looking for ways to redirect my focus from self-centered validation to a more genuine, humble approach to life. Any advice or wisdom you could offer on this matter would be immensely appreciated.
Answer by Romapada Swami:
Please refer to Digest 00012g as it addresses your question. Here is that digest quoted here:
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Question: If one commits offenses against devotees, and also has a strong false ego problem, then how to purify it and rectify the offenses? How to convert false ego?
Answer by Romapada Swami: The way to overcome false ego is to cultivate real ego. Our real identity, constitutionally, is that we are eternal servants of Krishna and servants of His servants. By diligently cultivating a spiritual vision, by seeing ourselves as humble servants of the devotees and being in the attitude of serving them beneficially, replaces offensive and false egoistic mentality.
Our acaryas describe that the only way to rectify offenses committed against devotees is to seek the forgiveness of that same devotee and render service to them and please them. When we cultivate a spiritual conception of ourselves and of all other devotees, then it becomes easier to overcome the false ego and take these above-mentioned steps. By regular hearing from advanced Vaishnavas, by praying sincerely to Lord Krishna, and by calling upon His Holy Name, each of these activities helps situate us in the spiritual conception of life. Such a sincere effort also invokes Krishna’s mercy, who kindly helps remove our false ego and pride.
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Also being submissive to the spiritual master by following his instructions helps one to gradually give up one’s false ego. By taking shelter of guru and Gauranga and surrendering (dovetailing) our free will without any reservations or grudges, with gratitude and devotion to the higher will, our false ego will slowly get curbed.
Another practical way is to go out for book distribution. By participating in book distribution with other devotees, very soon we will experience the hurt when people reject taking spiritual books that we offer to them. One may feel humbled, ignored and that hurts one’s false ego. But at the same time as one continues to do book distribution, one will realize that we are not the controller and the doer and slowly we will feel or experience our true self – as the eternal servant of the Supreme Lord, Sri Krishna.
There are also examples from our great scriptures like Srimad Bhagavatam wherein you can read the pastimes of Bali Maharaj, Indra, Sudama Vipra. One can see from these pastimes how, by receiving descending mercy, their false ego was reformed.
