Question: I have a question regarding obedience. The Lord exhibits the quality of obedience to His parents and elders in His various incarnations and pastimes. Likewise, as far as I understand, He indicates through scripture that such obedience is a religious principle, pleasing to Him, and that parents have God-given authority and duty to train their children accordingly. I am noticing that I have some reluctance to wholly embrace this, for the idea of “obedience” triggers a negative impression in me. It brings to my mind the image of a dog being trained, commanded, swatted when disobedient, and rewarded when obedient. It carries for me an image of domination, control, and condescension, lacking in respect for the individuality, feelings, spirit, etc. of the child. As I bear the sense of the equality of the soul, I feel some discomfort with the idea of invoking authority and obedience on the basis of my older body.
I assume that these feelings and perceptions of mine arise from material conception and mundane sensibility. Following the spirit of the universal instruction that addressing my own issues may be the best way to address my son’s issues, I am recognizing that I need to clear up my misunderstandings of this matter. Could you please explain the proper spiritual conception to carry in this regard?
Answer by Romapada Swami:
Simple, The Krishna conscious or spiritual conception of Obedience has Love as its foundation. While on very different platforms of spiritual development, their root is the same.
Sans Love, all of your images above of abuse of Authority and Pavlovian Obedience is what material Obedience is made of.
When there is Love, the abode of love (the parent) sees the object of Love (the child) like Mother Yasoda saw Krishna when she wanted to discipline him for stealing.
Not “I am big, you are small, so you had better do what I say — or else!” But Love.
Your son’s Receiving the Love of Krishna (the Supreme Parent) is enhanced and facilitated by the mother (you) nurturing the same principle in your interactions with and in training of your son, the object of your love.
You must see yourself as an instrument of Krishna’s Love (particularly, NOT as the controller of a smaller and vulnerable weaker person) and your son as a soul entrusted to your care by Krishna, to bring his soul back to Krishna’s eternal Abode of Love. In this realm, such dynamics as Discipline + Obedience + Respect must be sub-parts of receiving that Love, at least in the initial training stages of parenting.
