Question: A High School Student’s Question:
I have a problem at school and would really, really like to have your guidance to overcome it. My problem is my friend at school, who by birth is a Muslim and brought up as a racist (or even more appropriate a fanatical religionist, but I didn’t know if that was a word or not :/). She is a really sweet girl, but when it comes to Indians she has this opinion that all Indians are murderers because of the whole Pakistan-India Split. She was saying how the Indians tourtured and did all these bad things to her Grandparents as they were trying to escape India at that time. She said that her parents are “cool” with the present generation, but they can’t stand their own generation or the one before them. So then I asked her if my Grandparents were here, would she hate them just because they were from that same time period, and she said yes!
Even though this is the red-neck capital, this was honestly the first time I faced blatant hate like that just cause of my race and because of something that happened such a long time ago! I tried my hardest to keep my temper in check and not be judgemental, but inside I felt like slapping her for all that she was saying. I don’t want to think like this Maharaj, but I couldn’t help but to think like this. I know that I am thinking at the bodily level, but that hurt…especially when she said that she’d hate my Grandparents just because they were alive when India split to become Pakistan. They weren’t even involved in most of this because they were deep in South India. Then, I started to tell her all the incidents that occured when the Muslim Kings invaded, and she said that they weren’t really Muslims. She said that it was against their religion to do all that stuff so technically they weren’t Muslim.
That urge to slap her came up again soon after she said that. I didn’t like the way this conversation was going so I said that all religions agree that we aren’t this body and that we are the soul, but when I said this to her she refuted saying that they believed that they were the body. That was a huge realization to me. Then we went back to the topic as she reiterated what she said about her Grandparents suffering. The amazing thing was, she said this with a straight face, like she memorized these lines. It was kinda scary because it reminded me of the KKK episode in a show, where they show the KKK’s kids, and they looked really scary. Their kids had this completely brainwashed, dead, robotic look on their face as they were telling the host why they hate the other races. Although Her look wasn’t as bad as those kids, it still creeped you out a bit because it was so cold and emotionless. This all happened yesterday, and I don’t know what to do. She’s my friend and I don’t want to lose her friendship just because of this. She is a really sweet girl other than all of this. I don’t want to be judgemental like her Maharaj, but its so hard especially when it gets personal like that.
Answer by Romapada Swami :
It is circumstances like this that really test our realization: “You are not the body” and to forgive others for the darkness they carry within them due to bodily conceptions.
To help you remain on the platform of the soul, above the bodily conception, consider the following 3 assisting sources of strength.
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1) Practice Forgiveness
Bhismadeva advised for all human beings nine qualifications: (1) not to become angry, (2) not to lie, (3) to equally distribute wealth, (4) to forgive, (5) to beget children only by one’s legitimate wife, (6) to be pure in mind and hygienic in body, (7) not to be inimical toward anyone, (8) to be simple, and (9) to support servants or subordinates. One cannot be called a civilized person without acquiring the above-mentioned preliminary qualities.
As far as salvation is concerned, one has to conquer the principles of lust, anger, unlawful desires, avarice and bewilderment. To get freedom from anger, one should learn how to forgive.
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2) Do not make the same mistake as your friend (read the verse and purport as follows).
You know the truth of religion, and you are speaking according to the principle that the destination intended for the perpetrator of irreligious acts is also intended for one who identifies the perpetrator. You are no other than the personality of religion.
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3) Try to help your friend understand that if person X does something wrong, the relatives (or all members of the same nation or state) of person X are not to be held accountable – only person X.
Ask: “Do you agree with terrorism? Would it be right for those against terrorism to condemn all individuals from the same nation as the terrorist?” The same applies to the invading kings from Moslem countries: they were not representative of the religion, your friend told you. Help her see that the same forgiveness for innocent originating from her nation should be equally extended to those who did no harm from your nation.
